Here's a snapshot of me this afternoon, enjoying one of my favorite meals OF ALL TIME!! I single-handedly devoured a 7.2 pound lobster. As you can see, the claws were bigger than my fully stretched hands. Tons of meat just falling off of this monster.
After about 20 minutes and 3/4 of a stick of butter, all that was left was an empty exoskeleton and a widely grinning man with a fully distended abdomen. No plans to beat this personal record any time soon.
2 comments:
Holy f-ing hell! Lobsters spend their entire lives quietly sitting on the ocean floor, never making a sound. They then are involuntarily sweep up in a net and shipped on ice with defenseless, rubberbanded claws to kitchens across America. Only to be unceremoniously dropped, typically and unnatually head first, into a vat of boiling salt water. And there, WFF, lies the haunting nature of the ritual. The vocal-cordless lobster, for the first time in his decade old life, manages a painful deep peep--more like a gutteral shriek spasming up from his "guacamole"-filled large intestine, actually--that can be heard through six inches of water and a cast iron pot. The kitchen becomes, for an instant, a tragic opera of death and suffering. The "fat lady", in this case dressed in red, does, in fact, sing.
Curse you! Enjoy the sacrificed crustean. And may the shrill gasps of his 9.2 lb mother and 10.6 lb father echo from the kettle at Legal Seafood, Boston, MA, startling you awake from a sound slumber nightly for a month!
Sincerely, PETA CEO, Joel "Furby" Fitzsimmons.
I saw a show on food network about lobsters. A 1.5 pound lobster is small but edible, and the show was espousing a 4.5 pound lobster as one for lobster lovers with a hungry appetite. I laughed out loud. I think the lobster you ate could devour the 4.5 lobster and still have room left over for a couple of those 1.5 pounders. The lobster you ate was a killing machine for other lobsters and ocean bottom creatures. The food network is all washed up. They need to take a trip out to your house.
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